Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
