fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
from now on my penis is your penis
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
