Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he shaved USA in his pubs
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
