I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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