I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
