Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
