you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
