He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
