If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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