Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
