p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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