So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Mom said you looked used
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
