And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
pray to the hookup gods
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
