I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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