i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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