I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
