i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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