5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
try to milk me bitch
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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