The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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