I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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