i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
