Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
PANTIES FOUND
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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