i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
