It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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