I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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