The maid of honor just puked.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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