I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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