I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
