I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
