so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
