I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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