Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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