You're completely useless in the revolution.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize