White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You are a genius and a whore.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
