Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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