Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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