why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
