We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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