I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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