Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
