uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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