worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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