if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
