Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
should my penis look like a turkey
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
