conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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