if you like me you must not know who I am
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
