I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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