Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Randomize
