her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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