she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
