I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
