So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
